Interoffice softball game
by fiendish one
Summary: It's time for the yearly interoffice softball game
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Don't own the show or the characters.  
  
A/N: I myself am a softball player, which inspired me to write this short little story.  
  
~  
  
Greg Sanders flies into the break room, hardly able to contain his excitement.  
  
"Let me guess," says Nick. "You finally got a girl to say yes."  
  
"Oh, cold man," says Warrick.  
  
"No, dude. Even better. They're letting me play in the Night vs. Days interoffice softball game on the 26th!" spurts out Greg.  
  
"Oh, you got roped into that too?" asks Catherine.  
  
"Hey, I forgot that was coming up," Grissom says. "I believe everyone in this room is signed up to play."  
  
"Well, me, you, Nick, Greg, Sara and Warrick make 6, but aren't there supposed to be at least 9?" Catherine asks Grissom.  
  
"Kudos, Catherine! I had no idea you knew that much about softball. Okay, quick, what's the difference between softball and baseball?" Greg comments.  
  
"Watch it, Sanders," warns Catherine. "For your information, I kick ass at short."  
  
"Yeah, man," replies Warrick. "I saw her last year. She really does."  
  
"Well, who else is on the line-up?" Sara asks, with little enthusiasm.  
  
"Guess who used to play little league," Grissom says.  
  
"No. Fuck no," says Nick. "Hodges? That bitch thinks he has the balls to play softball?"  
  
"Excuse me, but I think softball is meant to be a girls' sport," corrects Sara. "We still need two more players."  
  
"Grover and Callahan are signed up to play."  
  
"Okay, well, don't forget that we only get 3 practices and the first is on Sunday. Be there," says Grissom.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
After three short practices, one in which they lost half an hour of their time trying to get the dayshift off the field, nightshift was almost ready. The line up, written in batting order, reads as follows:  
  
Warrick Brown 3rd Base  
Greg Sanders Catcher  
James Callahan 1st Base  
Catherine Willows Shortstop  
Gil Grissom 2nd Base  
Brady Grover Center Field  
Nick Stokes Pitcher  
David Hodges Right Field  
Sara Sidle Left Field  
  
Sitting on the bench are other workers, all of whom receive little to no playing time. Coaching is Ballistics tech Eric Johnson, who played professional baseball in college  
  
And so the game begins...  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
The game rules state that no inning will begin 1 hour and 45 min. after the game has started. Due to the lack of practice that the teams were allowed, the 6 run rule is in effect (either 3 outs or 6 runs before switching). . tbc 


	2. ch 2

Disclaimer: Don't own a darn thing. Shucks.  
  
A/N: It's softball season, I just couldn't help myself.  
  
~  
  
Being the home team, Nightshift takes the field first. At bat is McClain. Line drive right to Warrick at 3rd base, and he makes the throw to first for the out. Not a bad start.  
  
The next two come up, and are struck out. "Alright, guys, good job. Three up, three down. Here we go, 'nights' on three. Ready-one, two three," says Nick.  
  
"NIGHTS!" they yell.  
  
Up first for nightshift is Warrick; pitching is none other than Ecklie.  
  
Ball one, the ump calls.  
  
Ball two.  
  
Here comes the pitch. It's actually a half-way decent pitch, but slower than Warrick is used to. He doubts it is more than 30 or 40. Haha, middle school girls can pitch faster than this doofus. But what the hell, he swings anyway.  
  
Ouch, the ball goes straight to Ecklie's right leg and ricochets to right field before he can get his glove down in time to make the snag. They're right-fielder, still as a statue, lets the ball roll past, thinking the center fielder will go for it. Whoops. Warrick makes it easily to first, then rounds and heads safely towards second base.  
  
Next up is Greg. Pop fly right to the left fielder. Oops! It bounces out of his glove. Gotta get that glove up. Greg is at second and Warrick safely home on a missed throw to the pitcher.  
  
The inning continues with only one strike out before the 6 run rule is enforced. Catherine smacks a whopper to center, resulting in 2 RBIs and Grissom hits his out of the park, earning himself a home run and a fun little RBI to go with it.  
  
They make it through the 2nd inning much the same, except Hayden on days manages to get one past Sara in left field, which results in a home run.  
  
In the bottom of the 3rd, Hodges smacks a hard one to shortstop for a base hit. Sara goes up to bat, and does manage to hit the ball to the 2nd baseman. "Keep note of this moment, guys," Greg laughs. "This is probably the only time either of them will ever get a hit."  
  
The rest of the game is, for the most part, total domination by nightshift, only allowing three more runs from days. Only 2 endings ended with three outs instead of the 6 run rule.  
  
Top of the 4th is probably the most exciting part of the game. Ecklie, having been walked (dead ball, hit him in the crotch, something Nick, Warrick and Catherine have been planning to do) is one 2nd base. Greg, the catcher, decided to let the man who may one day be his boss steal second, although Greg could have easily thrown him out, even with the ball getting pass the 2nd baseman and shortstop. Ecklie is pretty slow, even for an old fart.  
  
The ball is a pop fly to Catherine at short as Grissom goes to cover second. Ecklie, forgetting to tag up runs and shoves pass Catherine, causing a slight shift in her position under the ball. Nonetheless, she catches it and tosses it to Grissom on the bag for the double. Ecklie is called out, but for another reason.  
  
"Interfering with the shortstop's fielding of the pop fly," calls the base judge.  
  
"What?" yells a very pissed off Ecklie. "What the hell do you mean? I never touched her!"  
  
"Doesn't matter-you were in her way when she tried top catch the ball, and that's an automatic out. Besides, dumbass, you forgot to tag up so you would've been out anyway," says Grissom.  
  
"Don't you know how to play softball? You only run on anything if there are two outs, and there was only one," calls Nick from the pitcher's mound.  
  
"Maybe you should try reading the rules a little more carefully next year!" Greg murmurs, lucky no one was there to hear him.  
  
After 5 minutes of arguing with the official, Ecklie is benched. Nick found it very hard to imagine that someone could suck worse than Ecklie, but this new pitcher just took the cake.  
  
Soon the game was over, final score after 4 innings 18-4, nightshift over dayshift.  
  
But the loss is just the beginning of the humiliation for the poor guys on days...  
  
tbc 


	3. ch 3

A/N: You know what, I don't feel like putting much here. But please review.  
  
~~  
  
Five minutes before the end of shift on the 27th, Greg and Nick call Warrick and Catherine to start their preparations. They meet in the DNA lab, knowing their boss is busy with Hodges.  
  
"Okay, guys. You know the drill. We only have 2 hours before they get here. Also, one more thing," whispers Greg. "We CANNOT, for ANY reason, let Grissom, Sara, Hodges or anyone else know. It must remain out of their knowledge for as long as humanly possible."  
  
"Greg! This isn't mission impossible," Catherine says.  
  
"You're right, it's worse. It's mission can't-get-caught." Nick warns.  
  
"Okay, wait till my signal. Catherine, Warrick, Nick, you all know where you're going?"  
  
"Let's review one more time, just to be safe," Warrick requests.  
  
"Okay, Catherine-you got Grissom. Nick-you take care of Sara. Warrick, you're with me. We need to go find Archie. He's the mastermind behind all of this, you know. Ever since Ecklie chewed his head off-" Greg says in a mournful tone.  
  
"Ahhh, yea," the other three sigh in remembrance.  
  
"Well, you all know where you're going. Meet back here at 0600 hours. Be swift!" Greg whispers.  
  
Catherine and Nick take their positions. First, Nick escorts Sara to her car, as does Catherine with Grissom. "Hey, Catherine, you want to join me for breakfast?" Grissom offers.  
  
"Oh, sorry, I'm kinda tired. Raincheck?"  
  
"Sure," Grissom smiles.  
  
Once his car is out of the lot, Catherine and Nick head back to the designated meeting spot, where Warrick, Greg and Archie anxiously await their arrival.  
  
"Okay, guys, you know your jobs. Go!" Archie instructs.  
  
"You know, Sara probably would've broken your fingers for calling her a guy," Nick laughs.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
At eight o'clock Ecklie walks into the Las Vegas Crime Lab, where a stunning sight meets his eyes. Posted on the wall is a huge scoreboard that shows the runs from every inning.  
  
He and his fellow team members go to pull it down. Unfortunately, they do not notice that the paint is still wet, and a half-full bucket of paint rests atop the board. Not only are they covered with paint, but there is still another card that won't come off the wall.  
  
More bad news for the day-shift: it's all caught on camera. And their situation is currently being broadcast on 15 monitors set up in the break room for the entire lab, including the some of the night shift.  
  
A well-timed call, made by Brass to Grissom, draws them both back to the break room of the lab where Catherine, Nick and Warrick, along with their techies, have the monitors set up.  
  
"Oh, joy!" Catherine squeals. "Boss is here. The party has arrived! We thought you might like this." Catherine motions to the screens. "We're recording."  
  
"Ooohhhhh," Grissom laughs. "You know, this really is wrong. We shouldn't let this continue."  
  
"Yea," Brass sighs, laughing.  
  
"Yea, we should."  
  
"Oh well." They all erupt into fits of laughter. 


	4. ch 4

"Grissom! Get your ass out here, now!" yells a very pissed off Ecklie, who happens to be covered in paint.  
  
"Yes?" Grissom asks very nonchalantly.  
  
"What the fuck did you do to me?"  
  
"Oh, I didn't do anything, Conrad."  
  
At that moment, Catherine and Brass walk by. "Hey, sexy!" Catherine yells sarcastically. "I really love that color on you."  
  
"Well," says Brass. "I don't think you really want to go there. Losers are always losers, everywhere they go. Do you really want to date a guy who tucks his shirt into his underwear?"  
  
"Yea, bald really isn't my thing," Catherine laughs and walks away. Ecklie is mortified, so embarrassed that he can't move.  
  
~  
  
Later that day, Ecklie and his crew decide to take their revenge.  
  
First they call the sheriff. "Excuse me, Sheriff? We have a situation concerning the integrity of our fellow criminalists on the night shift."  
  
That night, Grissom and his team are confronted by the Sheriff.  
  
"Gil, you know how bad this makes the lab look."  
  
"Sheriff, it wasn't him. He had no idea we were in on it at all," Warrick tries to cover.  
  
"Well, congratulations. Your little shenanigans have just put you all on probation," laughs the sheriff.  
  
"What? For how long? What the hell did I do?" Sara is now fuming. "What the hell did you guys do to get us on probation?"  
  
"Aren't we glad we got the prank in before she could ruin it?" Greg whispers. Warrick, Nick and Catherine fall into fits of laughter. Luckily, Grissom didn't hear. Unfortunately, Sara did.  
  
Later, in the parking lot, Sara goes to find Nick, Greg, Warrick and Catherine.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with all of you? You got us on probation! Grissom probably isn't happy with this."  
  
"You know, Sara, if you would take your head out of his ass for a little while you might see that he seemed to like our little...show," Catherine laughs.  
  
"Catherine, why don't you pull your head out of your own ass and stop bringing down the integrity of the lab? Or is it too far up there already?" and with that Sara stormed off.  
  
"Haha, someone's a little low on self-esteem so she's making fun of me. Lo- ser," Catherine giggles.  
  
"I like that attitude. Now, how are we gonna get Ecklie back this time? Oh, but one thing this time: let's not get in trouble," Nick says.  
  
"Yea, I think it would be better if we could get Grissom on it, and do it someplace other than work," Warrick suggests.  
  
"Good thinking, boys," Catherine says in her secretive, evil voice.  
  
"Yes, we should. So," Grissom says, walking from behind and surprising them all. "what's the plan?"  
  
Tbc mwuahahahahahhahahahahaha 


	5. ch 5

Disclaimer: Don't own the show, the characters, and Rupert Holmes owns the song.  
  
A/N: I was listening to the top ten billboard hits of 1979, and I just couldn't help myself. It's a great song. Go listen to it. Please review. Criticism is always welcome, especially if it's constructive.  
  
~  
  
Sitting around Catherine's house, the team tries to come up with their means of payback. After an hour, Warrick and Nick get bored and start looking through Catherine's old cds, 8 tracks, records and cassette tapes. Soon they come across and interesting one.  
  
"Hey, Catherine, I didn't know you were into Rupert Holmes! Me too!" Warrick calls.  
  
"Play it, man!" says Nick.  
  
Soon a familiar tune comes through the speaker; one they haven't heard in at least 20 years, if not more. Catherine and Grissom still remember the words, and sing them under their breathe. Warrick and Nick are too young to remember, but they catch onto the chorus quick. Greg annoyingly belts out the chorus.  
  
"Yes! That's it!" Catherine and Grissom are looking through the paper and are acting like they have just struck gold.  
  
"Oh, this is going to be soooooo nice!" Warrick says, seeing what they find so intriguing.  
  
They have found an add in the personals-but not just any personal add. It is written by none other than Conrad Ecklie.  
  
"So, what do you say we respond to this?" requests Grissom. "Ecklie doesn't deserve to be alone. Don't you think?"  
  
And so it read-  
  
If you like pina coladas Getting caught in the rain If you're not into yoga If you have half a brain If you like making love at midnight!  
  
"You've got to be kidding me," Greg laughed. "But does Ecklie like any of those things?"  
  
"Possibly."  
  
________________________________  
  
Eight days later, they got a response from Ecklie about the personal add. This was just too much. They could not refrain from cracking up.  
  
They have no intention of actually showing up for the proposed date; on the contrary, the plan is to let Ecklie wait there for his 'dream woman.' Either that, or have Greg show up in response. But Greg isn't too happy with that idea. Eventually, the talk him into it.  
  
The night after the 'date,' Grissom has his team work a double shift, knowing full well that they will encounter Ecklie.  
  
He shows up, very pissed off. Grissom and his team prepare to go for breakfast five minutes later. As they walk out of the lab, they let Archie carry a stereo playing "Escape The Pina Colada Song" playing softly on the speakers, but loud enough to be heard. Greg, fortunately enough, is not there.  
  
When they pass him on their way out, Grissom, Catherine, Nick, Warrick and Archie belt out the chorus with the music humming softly in the background. They sing in a nonchalant way, as to not raise any red flags. None the less, this supposed 'coincidence' manages to really tweak Ecklie's melon.  
  
~ Here's the song, incase you were curious of where the inspiration came from. Enjoy! I was tired of my lady, We'd been together too long, Like a worn out recording, Of a favorite song. So while she lay there sleepin, I read the paper in bed, And in the personal columns, There was this letter I read.  
  
If you like Pina Coladas, And getting caught in the rain, If you're not into yoga, If you have half a brain, If you like making love at midnight, In the dunes of the cape, Then I'm the love that you've looked for, Write to me and escape.  
  
I didn't think about my lady, I know that sounds kinda of mean, But me and my old lady, Had fallen into the same old dull routine, So I wrote to the paper, Took out a personal ad, And though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it wasn't half bad.  
  
Yes I like Pina Coladas, And getting caught in the rain, I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne, I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon, And cut through all this red tape, At a bar called O'Malley's, Where we'll plan our escape.  
  
So I waited with high hopes, And she walked in the place, I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face, It was my own lovely lady, And she said "Oh, it's you", Then we laughed for a moment, And I said "I never knew".  
  
That you like Pina Coladas, And gettin caught in the rain, And the feel of the ocean, And the taste of champagne, If you like making love at midnight, In the dunes on the cape, Your the lady I've looked for, Come with me and escape.  
  
If you like Pina Coladas, And getting caught in the rain, If you're not into yoga, If you have half a brain, If you like making love at midnight, In the dunes on the cape, Then I'm the love that you've looked for, Write to me and escape. 


End file.
